'' Seriously Single"
Recently I watched a film on Netflix called “ Seriously Single” where two best friends attempt to navigate the world of single hood. One of the Women craved commitment whilst the other Woman enjoyed her singleness. Both Women were successful in their own career field and was financially stable however, it still wasn’t enough. They were pressurised by their family to settle down, marry and have children. The Women were seen as the bad egg of the family because they decided to take a different path from what their family expected them to take. This I found very sad and to be honest I was slightly irritated. It got me questioning whether or not the ultimate achievement for a woman marriage and children.
In todays society Women are killing it.
They are working hard, achieving their career goals, travelling , making investments, earning equivalent or even more money than their male counterparts, and living their best single life. Some Women choose to have Children later on in life and some Women choose completely not to have Children. To be honest I’m absolutely support both decisions. Its their life, Its their body and they should have freedom of choice about what they do with their body. Women who make the decisions to have Children later on in life or never at all is labelled self fish, unruly, not a proper woman, infertile and are presumed to be wasting their lives.
What I found sad is that regardless of their achievements Women are not seen as successful until they are Married and have Children. If a man has similar achievements he would be patted on the back, be treated like precious jewels and bragged about by family and friends. There is so much emphasis on Motherhood. Its a crime to be single, its a crime to be married and not have a child in the first year of marriage. I have seen time and time again where the fertility of the Woman is questioned if by the end of the first year of marriage a baby is not produced. No one never questions the fertility of the Man. Which I find shocking because it doesn’t just take a Woman to have a baby.
I had a lovely conversation with an Uber driver who told me he’s been driving in Ghana since he was 15 years old . He said his father had a car lying around so one day he decided to drive it and the rest is history. The conversation made me think of my own Childhood where my brother was encouraged all the time to sit on my Uncle’s lap and steer the steering wheel when we were driving down back roads or on the beach. On the other hand my Aunt taught me how to peel onions, take the skin of tomatoes and cook. I also had daily chores that I had to complete before and after school. On top of that I had to get the best grades in School. Failure or average grades were not an option. My brother had no chores, he could just ride his bike and play all day. When I had my first driving lesson that was the first time I had ever sat behind a wheel of a car.
The contrast in mine and my brothers up bringing was so different yet we grew up in the same household and was raised by the same people.
The older I get the more questions I get asked about when am I going to settle down, when am I going to have a Child?. I am reminded countlessly that my biological clock is ticking. I get the pitiful eyes of the Aunties when I turn up to events time and time again with me myself and I. I encourage them to keep praying for me that God will send someone my way. The truth is it is better to prioritise and maintain your peace. I am such a huge believer in protecting your peace at all cost. You should be in a relationship for the right reasons. Many people are in relationships for fear of loneliness. I saw this quote that says
“ You’re not missing out when you decide you’d rather be alone than lonely with someone else”.
You should be in a relationship with someone who improves the quality of your life. Your needs and well-being are important. Being seriously single is a liberating experience as it provides Women opportunities to pursue their career goals ,hobbies, interests practise self love. I applaud the Women who has the career, children and marriage. I also applaud the Women who have chosen to prioritised their career and their freedom first. There is not right or wrong decision.