Really Love
I am a sucker for love. Not any type of love but that cinderella type of love. The cheesy type of love that makes most people uncomfortable. I love the quality time, walks in the park holding hands, watching the sunset. I love the cards, the love notes, the inexpensive thoughtful gifts. I love the comfortable silence, where both of you are just being. The eye contact that speaks volumes. The laughter shared, the road trips, the memories made together. The arguments where by the end a deeper connection exists. I love it all. As I said I am a sucker for love. Recently I watched a film on Netflix called “ Really Love”. Its basically about a couple trying to juggle both their careers and their relationship. It has some major cheesy parts which I loved I was glued from the start to the end. I literally cannot help myself.
In the movie the man was looked down on by the woman’s parents because he was a thriving artist and she was a law graduate about to get a job at a top law firm. It got me thinking if the shoe was on the other foot and the man was the lawyer and the woman was the thriving artist would that be more acceptable in today’s society?. Would there still be a problem?. We’re all here for independent women, women having their own money, running their own businesses and having successful careers but there’s also a huge hang up when the man is not on the same financial level as the woman.
Most people get caught up in the intensity of the relationship that they forget to ask those all important questions and navigate whether that person is really their person. After the honeymoon stages that’s when reality sinks in, the rose tinted glasses are removed and you truly start seeing your spouse for who they are. You also start seeing their pockets for what it is. The fancy restaurants they were taking you on their credit card the porn star martini’s they were buying. Its not a lifestyle they can afford. Uncle Steve aka Steve Harvey says that “ You’ve got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business”.
Sometimes we’ve been single for so long that we are easily ready to overlook the things like a person’s financial situation, immigration status, porn addiction, baby mother situation even side chick situation. Why?, just for that relationship status. Just so that you can proudly say with your chest you are no longer single.
We fool ourselves thinking those things can be fixed. I can help them get a new job that pays more, I can marry them so that they can get their passport. They just need to go to counselling to deal with their addiction. I can just ignore his baby mother or side chicks/man exist. I kid you not we have all been there or have a friend that has been in these situations or still in these situations.
The struggle is real….do I have the answers why we put ourselves in these situation-ships. No!!. It could be down to childhood trauma, low self esteem, lack of self love or just plain old desire to want to be in a relationship and the list goes on . What I’ve learn’t over the years is that its important to date someone who shares the same faith, has the same morals, has similar life goals and is on the same financial level as you or even better. I’d rather be happy by myself than being miserable and in a relationship thats for sure.