Effective Ways to Support Your Friend Who Has Children
When your friends are knee-deep in diapers, but you're knee-deep in freedom. Embrace the single life and be the ultimate cheerleader for your friends who are parents.
One thing i’m gonna try and do is enjoy life. I love travelling going on road trips,day trips, long haul trips and trying to new things. Like everybody else I just like to have fun. I wanna be one of them old people that says back in my day and share some of my youthful adventures. I have learnt to embrace and appreciate the single season that I am currently in. I have been a bridesmaid countless time. I have all the dresses hung up like tokens not knowing what to do with them. After weddings give or take a year or two and those couples have babies. I am now the fun Aunty who buys lovely gifts, takes them out on day trips once they’re potty trained and who their parents facetime for medical advice or send various body parts pictures too asking “ what’s that rash”,"should I call 111?”. I have heard and seen so many friendships dissolve once one person is in a different season from the other which can be very heart breaking.
*Touch wood* I have managed to maintain friendships with all my friends who are in the season of parenthood. Its not an easy task especially when your trying to catch up and share about your last date or last match on the dating apps and there’s a mini parrot aka a toddler repeating everything you their parents say. Its no longer a two way conversation.
Supporting a friend who has children can mean a lot of things and can look different depending on the individual.
Here are some general tips that might help:
1). Your friends availability will change. He or she may not be able to answer your calls or call you as much as they use too. They might not be able to go for your usual weekly coffee date. As a friend we need to be understanding as Parenting can be challenging.
2). Offer specific help such a babysitting, helping them organise their home or cook them a nice meal. The worst thing you can say is “let me know if you need any help. Some people will struggle to ask for help therefore specific offers can be easier for them to accept.
3). Have ample amounts of patience and understand that their priorities have changed. Your hour conversation might now be reduced to 10 minutes. Understand that their they might not be as available for spontaneous plans or long conversations.
4). Listen and validate your friend as much as you can. This can be very supportive as being a parent is not the faint hearted. It can be overwhelming and very stressful.
5). Don’t forget about your friend. Check in regularly with them via text or phone call. You can just simple ask “how are you”. They’re busy taking care of a household and their child/children that they forget to look after themselves. A simple text or call to ask how they're doing can mean a lot. Knowing someone cares makes a huge difference to their wellbeing.
I am literally no expert i’m just sharing what I have found to work in my friendships. Remember, every parent and family is different, so it's essential to adapt your support to what your friend specifically needs and is comfortable with. Comment below what tips have you found useful or have you used to navigate supporting your friends who are in the season of parenthood.
A whole word! Parents need understanding friends for sure