Choose Joy
Recently I find myself smiling and laughing at the silliest of things. I sometimes pause and ponder is this what pure joy feels like?, or do I need a mental health assessment?…lol. Either way I am happy and in a great space. I have been spending time doing the internal work to heal, learn and grow in the areas that I need too. Some days I’m emotionally drained other days I embrace the process. I try to find joy in the smallest of things and try not to overthink the biggest of things. I stop and remind my self to be perfect is to be perfectly imperfect. To feel joy and to be joyful looks and feel different to other people. Stop for a minute and ask yourself what does it feel and looks like to you. We’re always being told to “choose joy.” In the bible the word joy is written 430 times. It seems like joy is a characteristic or a feeling that God wanted us to have. Here are some things I have changed to achieve joy and to continue to be joyful.
I have stopped caring about what other people think of me. You might think Athina that’s a bit harsh but hear me out. Too often we look for validation in the wrong people. People will have opinions on how you should live your life based on what they want or wanted for themselves but failed to achieve. For example most parents wants their children to be Doctors and Lawyers because these are the careers they could only dream of achieving. If they did not achieve that career they see their children as a second opportunity. Another example the Aunties and Uncles who makes hints about who you should date or Marry. Who told you I wanted to Marry Steve the Deacons son. I might want to Marry Daniel the bad boy. I have also been the one casting my opinion on my friends lives on who they are dating or the way they dress. Why…because I thought I knew what’s best for them. The other person that knows what’s best for a person is God and the person themselves. If someone shares their opinion about me or something I have done. I thank them for sharing their opinion and keep it moving.
You have a choice whether to allow someones opinion to affect you. Its your life to live don’t allow others to rule you or your life.
2) Do things that makes you happy. These things doesn’t have to cost money. I have been going for long walks because when I am around nature I feel at peace. I have been listening to audio books, writing about whatever is on my heart, decluttering my living environment and exercising.
3) Spend time with people who has nothing but positive vibes. Its important to have a tribe of friends and family who fills your soul with nothing but goodness. I am very fortunate to have this tribe and I don’t take it for granted. We laugh, we talk, we eat , we go for long walks and just have a great time in each others company. If you don’t have one its never too late to create your own.
4) Avoid emotional vampires… please read my previous newsletter Emotional Vampires where I go into detail about this. There are some individuals who just emotionally dumps on you and sucks every morsel of energy out of you. When your together they leave you feeling drained and tired whilst they feel rejuvenated from the time they’ve spent with you. There’s a time and place for an emotional vampire. I always ensure that my emotional and mental battery is fully recharged before spending any time with emotional vampires. If your resources are depleted they will drain you even more. This I find difficult as I have shared before I am fixer and my natural instinct to find resolutions to peoples problems whilst neglecting my own needs and feelings.
5) Don’t allow fear to stop you from doing the things that you want to do. Push past that fear because even if you don’t get the desired outcome it will be a learning curve and an opportunity to grow. I had a pop up stall at Westfield Whitecity where I had the opportunity to sell my diverse children’s books. On my way there I started to feel nervous. When I arrived at the stall my heart was beating fast, my armpits were sweating and my hands were shaking. What was the cause…..fear. I was fearful that I might not sell any products that day, I thought the other business owners stalls looked more professional and the list goes on. What happened next really revalidated that I was meant to be there. A lady came up to the stall and I started talking to her about the books and the business. She said she’s heard of my company World of Diversity before. She bought a book and a few other things. I was the first one that day to make a sale. I was jumping for joy internally. I say this all to say fear is a real emotion that we need to face head on no matter how big or small the fear is.
I find that by verbalising my fear it helps me to persevere through it. I say it out loud “ I am fearful” or I message someone from my tribe to let them know I am fearful. Comment below how do you face your fears?.
I hope you find these five suggestions helpful. If you have any advice on how to choose joy daily please comment below. My joyful journey has only just begun and everyday I will continue to make a conscious effort to “choose joy”.